5 places for Traditional Music in Dublin 09/12/2015

Right before we start, Irish traditional music is not my thing. It sounds like a clever form of morse code spun together by rogue IRB agents planning an uprising in an attempt to bypass British intelligence. I dont know the difference between a jig and a reel, i’ve never been to the places they sing about and i have beard envy. Even the head bobbing traditional ladies with their half pints of Guinness and famine shawls draped around their shoulders have whisps of facial hair that are practically Chewbaccaesque next to my bald style profile. However this blog is for you guys, the guests, and potential guests and sure when you’re in Ireland you have to have a Guinness at a a session just like when you’re in Munich you have a beer and a Wurst and when your in Amsterdam you have a **** with a ******* and then you ***** while she **** **** ****** **** a ***** with a lemon.

5) Johnny Foxes Pub

Somewhere up the Dublin Mountains

If The Quiet Man is your favorite film and you believe in Leprechauns then this is the place for you. A temple of Paddywhackery located along a windy road up the Dublin Mountains, Johnny Foxes force feeds questionable food at outrageous prices to over 10,000 buses of German tourists each year. They’ve live music each night that is so fine tuned it resembles a cabaret. If you want to have the Irish disneyland experience go to their website and you can buy a ticket for their express bus.

4) The Church

Jervis Street, Dublin 1

An interesting spot with an interesting history. It used to be a church but now its a big cavernous bar/restraunt. Its claim to fame is that Handel first played his “Messiah” piece here at Dubliniastock in 1742  with Mozart on bass, a very ill, possibly dead Vivaldi on guitar and John Seb Bach on beats and vibes. Apparently the lads wrecked the place after the monks drank all their wine rider and as a result the owners have forbidden any classical music to be played within its doors. As a result if you pop in seeking sanctuary from the marauding northside hordes you may be treated to some sexy trad baby!

3) Grand Social

Lower Liffey Street, Dublin 1

On the spot where turn of the century cesspit Pravda used to be is the Grand Social. It has evolved from a venue with the smallest stage in Dublin to one with a lovely big one and it is upon this stage where you can watch some trad music every Tuesday at their brand new Grand Folk night. Good news cheapskates, its free!

2) O’Donoghues

15 Merrion Row, Dublin 2

This is where the Dubliners started out, a band made famous by Ronnie Drews Taliban like insistence that all band members beards must be long enough to soak in their Guinness for fear that someone would steal them when they were playing their instruments. They wrote a few songs too, much like the other lads who played gigs here also like The Fureys, Christy Moore and Phil Lynott, who did a collaboration with Midge Ure but not much else. A lovely pint of Guinness here and theres always trad in the evenings.

1) Cobblestone

77 King Street, near Smithfield

A great bar that you think is miles away but in reality is very close. Get the Luas to Smithfield and you’re a two minute walk from the front door. Nice mix of clientele from the trad man, to the country and bluegrass guy, to fellow backpackers like yourselves, its  got live music each night that is of serious quality and is predominantly free.

There ya are now. If you do end up at a session there are generally two rules. First, be quiet when everyone else is quiet, especially when an ould lad gets up to sing a song on his own out of nowhere. Secondly, buy a drink for yourself, no sharing, if your not drinking get out and away with you, buy more than one, dont nurse a half pint of stout between three of you for two hours for you’ll only encourage bad will.